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Getting High

Getting High

John’s misadventures in kite-flying. Words by John Fraser Many years ago, I was tasked with making a toy or game that was both entertaining and functional. It was one of the more useful…

MississaugaLife Classic: The Case of the Penny-Pinching Pensioner

Why being a modern-day miser is no fun at all.  Words by John Fraser Social scientists, psychologists and the like say that resolutions undertaken in the rush of good intentions…

Sorry, Wrong Number!

Sorry, Wrong Number!

Our auction winner is not so silent. Words by John Fraser The phone rang. “Hello?” “Is this John Fraser?” “Are you phoning about my ducks?” “Excuse me?” “My ducks, my ducks… seems…

Court in the Headlights

Court in the Headlights

Or, seeing red after running a red. Words by John Fraser Turning 80 doesn’t give you much in common with a 16-yearold granddaughter, but there is one thing: we both had to…

Loco Goes to Mexico!

Loco Goes to Mexico!

Our offbeat sunseeker swaps his snow shovel for a sombrero. Words by John Fraser Hola dear readers, Is it true that we have brass monkeys in Canada? I ask since I’ve heard…

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Partings are such sweet sorrow… Words by John Fraser Nothing inspires loyalty like the commitment one has to the person who cuts and/or colours their hair. Jobs may change, Fords…

Wanted: Agreeable Female

Wanted: Agreeable Female

Our lonely octogenarian has an itch to connect on Christmas morning. Words by John Fraser What can you say about living alone that hasn’t already been said about hemorrhoids? I…

A Chick Flick and an Upchuck

A Chick Flick and an Upchuck

Words by John Fraser For two movies of the same genre, Enough Said and Don Jon are as similar as chalk and cheese. Enough Said stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus and the…

Switched Off!

Switched Off!

Moments of momentous customer service. Words by John Fraser Alas, we all remember the rainfall of July 2013! More water fell in two hours than the average for the month—even…

Bring in the Clowns

Bring in the Clowns

Putting the fun back into funerals. Words by John Fraser I was listening to a 29-year-old guy going on about how tough it was to be his age. He wasn’t…

Reinventing Myself

Reinventing Myself

Or, How I Went from Being a Couch Potato to a Couch Parsnip. Words by John Fraser There is a law in physics called the conservation of energy which postulates…

Our Fathers Who Art Entrepreneurs

Our Fathers Who Art Entrepreneurs

Time for a little twisted history and economic balderdash. Words by John Fraser  Canada was not so much “discovered” as “bumped into” by some hardy entrepreneurs looking for a new way…

Santa’s Claws

Santa’s Claws

’Tis the season to be jolly handy in a tight situation. Words by John Fraser The Three Stages of Santa 1. You believe in Santa. 2. You don’t believe in…

So What—I’m Still Smiling!

So What—I’m Still Smiling!

A former educator turned performer celebrates his birthday with acerbic wit intact. Words by John Fraser I have just turned 79. Twenty-one more birthdays and I’ll be 100. Am I…